When someone tells us a problem or is going through a delicate moment, sometimes we usually resort to extreme sympathy to make her feel better. First of all, we have to tell you that this is something completely normal. In short, we are human beings and when we see that someone is having a bad time, we do whatever it takes to make that hard drink happen as soon as possible.
However, sometimes we do not realize that maybe the other party just looks for a shoulder to lean on, a person who understands at all times what is happening. And for that, phrases like "Do not worry. It's not so much " or "Sooner or later it will pass" they can have an opposite effect on the person.
This is what separates empathy of the sympathy, two very different concepts that we will try to differentiate through the following lines.
Empathy is nothing other than putting oneself in the other's shoes
This is one of the most important traits of empathy. This basically consists in putting oneself in the place of the other person, leaving aside prejudices or previous experiences with the sole objective of understanding at all times the person in front of us. It does not matter what this has done (at least for now). In that delicate moment, this person is only looking to feel heard and supported on the subject he is dealing with.
To do this, an empathic person will listen fully active to the other party, without making many interruptions in order to extract all the relevant information and finally make a value judgment as objective as possible.
Once it is achieved, it will be possible to jointly search for a solution between the two that ultimately helps the affected person feel better. Therefore, to be empathetic, it is very important to choose the words we are going to say. Remember that at that moment, the other party is just looking for a shoulder to lean on and expel all the anger, problems, stress and frustrations you have with someone of your absolute confidence.
Empathic people always offer unconditional support
Many empathic people know perfectly well what this important friend or relative is going through since they have seen themselves in a very similar situation throughout their lives. For this reason, they are always willing to offer conditional support when things are not going well.
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And for that, when the other person is having a bad time, they know that saying nice or nice things is not enough sometimes. Even these can become counterproductive as we explained at the beginning of the article.
And then, what can we do to make that loved one feel better? Well, simply say: "Quiet, I will be there to support you and help you no matter what happens" It can be a great relief for the person in front of us. From there, we will see what we can do to get the other party out of this situation so problematic. But that is something that we will see more in the long term.
Empathy is also knowing how to interpret emotions
By way of summary, it can be said that empathy is a social skill that is characterized simply by putting yourself in the place of the other, knowing what you feel and "reading" both your thoughts and emotions. Moreover, empathic people are able to interpret all the non-verbal communication of the other person to know at all times how they feel. And, there are many people who do not know very well how to express their feelings and hence it is very important to be empathetic to help them externalize them.
And how can we achieve a high degree of empathy? Surely many will ask. Obviously, there is no magic form. It is a matter of working it little by little through different experiences that we are going through throughout our lives, something that will help us enormously to advise any friend or relative and therefore win in empathy.